#and by all month i mean these past 3 days

[gyubakeries]

svt x what is 💌

stop wallowing in the past about shitty exes and wishing for that one whirlwind romance to sweep you off your feet. focus on the present. focus on what is.

follow the cupid of valentine's present to show you the beauty of living in the moment with person right in front of you. [happy endings only!! for this one at least]

check out what stories the cupid of valentine's past has to share over here <3

choi seungcheol 💌

it had all started when seungcheol offered to lift your heavy boxes and carry them all the way up to the seventh floor on moving day. “it’s no big deal,” he had smiled, but you were sure you saw him wincing in pain later that evening.

then he started inviting you over for dinner almost every night. “neighbour obligations,” he had said with a sheepish smile when you asked him about the five-course dinner he had prepared for you.

“you’re obliged to make me dinner three times a week? for six months?” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“if i was your boyfriend, i could make you dinner every day,” seungcheol replies. “forever, hopefully.”

now, three years later, when you’re struggling to carry a heavy box into your new living room, seungcheol quickly takes it away from you and carries it inside, setting it down with a loud thud.

“babe,” you protest. “one box wouldn’t have killed me.”

“i promised i’d be lifting your boxes forever, didn’t i?” he says with a cheeky grin, and you don’t think you mind spending forever with seungcheol.

yoon jeonghan 💌

“try again. it’s 君はとてもかわいいね,” jeonghan repeats. 

you’re so cute.

“okay, uh, 君はとてもかわいいね?” you repeat after him, trying your best to mimic the intonation of jeonghan’s voice. 

“much better,” jeonghan nods, shutting the kids’ japanese exercise book. “i think we can conclude our lessons here for today.”

“what does it even mean?” you ask him as he lays his head in your lap, your hand automatically coming up to play with his hair.

“it means, there’s a cockroach in your shoe,” jeonghan snickers, faking a pout when you playfully flick his forehead.

later that night, when he’s just about to fall asleep, you join him under the covers. your bodies meld together instantly, out of habit, much like the way jeonghan has perfected the way he speaks japanese over the years.

“i figured out what it really means,” you whisper, and jeonghan laughs softly.

“愛してる,” he whispers against your lips, words as soft as the kiss he leaves there.

i love you.

hong jisoo 💌

“honey, what about the red ones?” joshua’s voice sounds distorted and crackly, likely because of the bad service in the small shop he stumbled into in italy.

“shua, you already bought two fridge magnets, the wall decorations, and like a thousand keychains,” you sigh. “do we need tiny espresso cups? we don’t even like espresso.”

“but they’ll look so cute next to the miniature tuk-tuk showpiece i bought from thailand!” joshua whines. “please?”

you sigh. even shitty video calls can’t mask the pout on joshua’s face.

“at this point we’ll need an extra room just for the souvenirs you buy on tour,” you tease. “buy them, they’re cute.” 

a few weeks later, your mother says, “nice fridge magnet. where’d you get it from?”

“italy,” you reply, busy washing the dishes and putting them away.

“when did you go to italy?” your mother asks, sounding a little surprised.

“oh, i didn’t,” you smile. “joshua got it for me.”

wen junhui 💌

“meow.”

a human-sounding meow sounds from behind you, and you turn around quickly, only to see a tall figure crouched in the cramped alleyway you are crouched in as well, feeding mr. twinkles, your unofficial cat son.

“wait, jun? is that you?”

you recognize the man you’ve been going on dates with for the last two months, feeding mr. twinkles’ girlfriend cat food.

“oh! do you feed the cats here too?” junhui asks, and you shuffle to the side to reveal mr. twinkles.

“yeah! this is mr. twinkles,” you introduce the cat to junhui.

“you’ve been feeding susan’s boyfriend?” junhui’s eyes light up in recognition. “i guess even the cats want us to end up together, don’t you agree?”

you can only smile bashfully as mr. twinkles stalks over to susan to snuggle up to her. you look over to junhui, who sends you a flirtatious wink.

when junhui leads you out of the alleyway for a coffee, you can only thank the cat gods for approving of the man who has irreversibly captured your heart.

kwon soonyoung 💌

“are you tired? we can go to bed now,” soonyoung offers, and you nod. it’s the first time you’re sleeping over at his apartment since you started dating, and you can’t help but feel nervous and excited.

you follow him into his bedroom, and the sight of the bed makes you freeze in your tracks.

“where am i supposed to… sleep?”

you gesture at the soonyoung-shaped empty space on the bed surrounded by tiger plushies of all shapes and sizes, taking up the remaining space.

“oh,” soonyoung mumbles. he’s quick to push all the plushies off the bed, but he keeps a particularly large one at the foot of the bed.

later, when you’re wrapped up in soonyoung’s arms, he speaks in a soft voice, his earnest eyes sparkling. “i’ve never removed all my tigers from my bed for anyone else.”

“oh, you can put them back if-”

“it means that i think you’re the one,” he cuts you off. “do you think you could feel the same way?”

you giggle at his question, because you know that you already do.

jeon wonwoo 💌

a tap on your shoulder distracts you from the notes you had just started taking down. you turn to the side to see your classmate-slash-campus crush, jeon wonwoo, looking at you apologetically.

“i’m so sorry, but, can i borrow a pen from you?” he whispers.

had anyone else asked you that question, you would’ve felt annoyed. your pens were precious and pricey, and you didn’t like parting with them too often.

for wonwoo, however…

“sure!” you agree, hoping you didn’t come across as too eager. you take a pen from your pouch and hold it out for wonwoo.

the second reason for your easy compliance is this—the feeling of wonwoo’s fingers brushing against yours as he takes the pen.

the fluttering in your heart lasts till the end of the lecture, when wonwoo holds the pen close to the end facing you, just as keen to feel a brush of your skin against his.

“wonwoo,” you say that day, trying your best not to laugh. “if you want to hold my hand that bad, just ask me.”

in a few minutes, you walk out of the lecture hall with wonwoo, along with matching smiles and intertwined hands.

lee jihoon 💌

“here’s the edited version,” jihoon says, dropping a folder on your table. “let me know if you need me to look over anything else.” that’s all he says before he’s walking away, hands stuffed in his pockets.

you don’t notice the red tingeing the tips of his ears.

“oof, jihoon is tough with his edits, all the best,” soonyoung winces, and you frown.

“but he’s always so nice in my edits?” you say, and soonyoung gasps.

“he’s becoming a softie,” soonyoung shakes his head. “absolutely down bad for you.”

the next time jihoon is returning an edited draft of your new short novel, you excitedly flip to the last page.

saturday. my house. story-outlining for new plot. you and me? - from, your writer :) 

and in jihoon’s neat handwriting, that matches the hearts he’s been leaving in your drafts for all these months, there’s a reply.

i’ll be there at 7. buy me some diet coke. i’ll bring you coffee - from, your editor <3

lee seokmin 💌

“this next song is perhaps love, by eric nam and cheeze,” seokmin announces to the cafe. “i’m dedicating this to the person who i might be falling in love with. perhaps.”

the audience laughs, and seokmin lets his eyes focus on your busy figure, serving the patrons with a smile, before he takes a deep breath and starts singing.

the lyrics of the song seokmin is singing latches onto your brain, and you try not to read too much into his kind eyes and bright smile, but you can’t help the way your heart beats rapidly around him.

“hey,” seokmin says from behind you, and you turn to face him with a smile, hoping that your blushing didn’t look obvious.

“hey! you sounded really great tonight,” you compliment him sincerely. “do you want your usual ord-”

“did you listen to the last song?” seokmin cuts you off, suddenly sounding nervous.

you nod, unable to form words.

“it was for you,” he blurts out. “every song has been for you, and it’s okay if you don’t feel-”

you cut him off this time, with a kiss. the twinkle in his eyes tells you that he knows.

kim mingyu 💌

“what’ll you be having today?” mingyu asks, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“surprise me,” you smirk, and the man instantly turns away to concoct a new drink for you.

while you wait at your table, you shamelessly ogle at the way mingyu’s biceps are bulging against the blue polo he has to wear as uniform as he shakes up your surprise drink. and you can tell he likes the attention, judging from the way he’s looking right back at you with a flirtatious grin.

you’re a little disappointed that someone else brings your drink to the table, but when you read the text scrawled onto the paper cup, you quickly find out why.

it’s been three months of staring. let me take you out? - mingyu 

the brush of your hands against his is just as sweet as the drink he made you as you slide the empty paper cup, adorned with some more text, over to mingyu before you head out of the cafe.

xxx-xxx-xxx. let me know when you’re free for a date. i’ll surprise you this time ;)

the text comes in within fifteen minutes, and you smile to yourself on the way back home.

xu minghao 💌

“any personal recommendations?” you ask the cute cashier, minghao, as you check your books out, hoping to strike up some conversation with him.

“uh, i don’t really read,” minghao replies with a shy smile. 

maybe it was the flicker of disappointment in your eyes, or maybe he’s just down bad for you, but by the time you’re walking into the bookstore again—two thursdays later, like clockwork—minghao has read both the books you bought from your last visit.

he lurks around the bookshelf you’re currently examining, and attempts to lean against it in a cool way. clearing his throat to grab your attention, he says, “so, what are your thoughts on the weird pigeon?”

“i thought you said you didn’t read?” you smile, amused at the reference, and minghao scratches his nape.

“ever since you started coming in, i’ve been wanting to talk book to you, so…” minghao trails off awkwardly.

you laugh at his choice of words, but then say, “if you really want to delve into the book, maybe we could get a coffee sometime soon?”

“my shift is over soon,” minghao says. “it’s a date, then?”

hopefully, the kiss on his cheek is enough of an answer.

boo seungkwan 💌

“i’m out of tea,” you bring up one day, when seungkwan is over at your house to help you assemble the new bookcase you ordered from ikea.

“buy some,” he replies in that no-nonsense tone of his, and you groan and roll your eyes for dramatic effect. he looks over at you, his gaze softening. “have you been having trouble sleeping again?”

you nod, and seungkwan curses himself for not noticing your pale skin or tired eyes earlier.

two days later, you’re greeted with the smell of fresh tangerine tea when you enter your house.

“boo? you didn’t have to make me more,” you sigh, seeing your best friend in the kitchen, brewing his special ‘sleeping potion’ for you.

“baby,” he calls out in his soft voice. “of course i had to. someone’s gotta take care of you.”

that night when he sleeps over at your place, holding you close to his chest, it goes unquestioned. just like the non-platonic nicknames, or the jars of tangerine tea in your fridge.

whether he’s just a best friend, or something more, your sleepless nights are much calmer with seungkwan by your side.

vernon chwe 💌

you’re panting when you bust into the shop, having had run all the way from your apartment to the vinyl store when hansol had sent you the text.

“where is it?”

hansol laughs as he takes in your wheezing figure. “i told you i put it aside for you, you didn’t have to run all the way here,” he shakes his head, ducking under the counter to retrieve the vinyl you’ve only wanted for the last six years.

“she’s real,” you gape at paramore’s ain’t it fun ‘half’ vinyl in awe, taking it from hansol for a closer look.

“this one’s on the house,” he says, and your head snaps up.

“no way, your boss will fire you,” you shake your head. “i can pay for it.”

“but i don’t want you to,” hansol refuses. “there’s a reason i haven’t let you pay full price for any of the vinyls you’ve bought. you’ve got to know by now.”

you do know. you’ve never missed the longing glances from hansol, not when you’ve been looking at him that way too.

“how about a kiss in exchange for it then?” you ask, leaning over the counter to get closer to the man standing behind it.

“just one?” hansol grins. “you’ve got a lot of vinyls to make up for, y’know?”

lee chan 💌

lately, you’ve been visiting the pool more often just to get a glimpse of lee chan, the cute lifeguard. you know it’s borderline-illegal of you to be taking pictures of him, but you can’t help that the sun hits his broad shoulders, perfect hair, and bright smile just the right way.

but you knew you were bound to get caught some day.

“hey,” you look up to see chan standing in front of you. for a moment, you think you’ve been caught, but then he smiles and asks, “can i borrow your phone to ring mine? i can’t find it.”

“s-sure!” you nod eagerly, handing your phone over. only when chan is already scrolling through your phone, you realize that your secret pictures are out for him to see.

you look at chan, who grins at you knowingly, and you blush violently. “look, if you saw the- uh, pictures, i’m so sorry. i’ll delete them right away-”

“i don’t mind a pretty girl taking pictures of me,” chan cuts your rambling off. and then, his phone starts ringing in his pocket.

“oops!” he giggles. “guess my phone was here all along. you don’t mind that i put my number in yours anyway, right?”

before you can respond, he’s winking and returning to his station, smiling at the text, containing the promise of a date, you’ve already sent him.

vote for your favorite what is and the cupid of valentine's present will give you a little sneak peek into their past or future together!

major thanks to kae, a, ally, and serena for your contributions! i wouldn't have been motivated to finish if it wasn't for you guys hehe <3

kae and serena, thanks for enabling every silly little idea that crops up! you guys are the real ones fr 🤞🤞

fill this form to be added to the taglist <3

head to the masterlist for more!

taglist: @min-imum @sousydive @k1eev @livelaughloveseventeen @unlikelysublimekryptonite

@theidontknowmehn @shinwonderful @wonuwrites @t-102 @aaa-sia

@cixrosie @deekaykaykay @baseball-dokyeom @4shypotato @rafayellegalwife

@of-swords-and-words @gyuhao365 @flickhurstyles @bibblemiluvr @valvoria

@moonyxhcbi @brownbunnyb @chanranghaeys

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Mindcrank's top 10 Mikus of the first five years

This list runs from the last monday of feb 2019 to to feb '24. Theres a few more done after that date in 24 that are not eligible.

#10 - 7/29/19: 'Aeiou Aeiou'

This was the first Miku we ever made that we were and remain truly proud of. We were still using SAI 1.0 back then, and I don't think we ever figured out how to do any rendering outside of adjusting opacity on the default brush. That we managed to make such a blend of colors and light with such a limitation in knowledge and tools just months after picking up a tablet, really makes this piece impressive to us even now. Even so, this barely cinches a spot almost by power of nostalgia alone.

#9 - 5/30/2022: 'One day I'll get to actually attend a concert'

Funnily enough, this one is based on a concert we did go to. Not a Hatsune Miku concert (though we still have our Miku expo 2020 ticket) but an Aurora one our youngest sister took us to. The singer came on, backlit as seen, and it kinda stuck with me. Really love this one though, the minimalist backlighting just looks great.

#8 - 6/27/2022: I really liked that one AI Greentext @liquidstar posted

While there are parts of this we're a bit questionable on now, namely the face in the final panel and being inspired by an AI greentext in the first place, this Miku holds a v special place in our heart. it's easily our most popular too, notes wise!

#7 - 4/3/2023 'A Trip To The Moon by Hatsune Miku'

This was part inspired by the desire to make a fake album cover, and part by the urban legend that the first manmade object in space was a sewer cover that was launched by a nuclear test. While untrue as the lid would have disintegrated at the speed it was moving well before leaving the atmosphere, it made for some potent imagery. This is one we wish we had even more time with, but as is, just looks fantastic. Every concept we wanted is there and so so good. Should really make a song list for this album.

#6 3/6/2023 'This is how Hatslimey Migoo arrives onstage'

This was part of Migoo March of '23, and we had to fight ourselves from including another piece from from the same month. It's no secret that Hatslimey Migoo is our favorite Miku design we made (sorry Radical Miku) and the whimsy and charm she brings with her is in spades here.

#5 - 7/11/2022 'Miku but it's me my 2009 senior year'

Okay so obviously at this point they're all near and dear to my heart, but this one has something even more special to it. I was such a depressed piece of shit in highschool and it was nice to give our past selves some love. That so many also loved her was genuinely healing in a way.

#4 - 8/1/2022 'Sli-Miku? Slimeku? Hatslimey Miku? Yeah'

Listen we said Hastlimey Migoo was our favorite child, and well, we just couldn't not put her origin image on this list. I mean just look at her! She's adorable! Not to mention how well we did making her look goopy as hell.

Honorable mentions!

(okay look we had to cut this down from 26 images and there still like a dozen more that could have made the shortlist so let us have this)

From 2021! Still perhaps our favorite Radical Miku! Posing and shadows look great still tbh.

Perhaps the Miku with the least amount of love noteswise. From 2023, it just really captures the miserable summer days in my shitty old room. there was no AC and it was triple digits or close to it many, many days. Just looking at it is something bittersweet.

From 2022, we have this vampire miku! Sure some parts are a little off, but the colors and bg just feel so right! So very perfectly part of the mood. Back to the countdown!

#3 9/25/2023 'Patron Saint of Song'

This is the Miku we're perhaps the second most unreasonably proud of on a technical level. Working within the limitations of imitating another style just pulled something out of us ig. We're not even sure what else to say, just look at it! The smooth lines, the way the flatly colored pieces create depth with the curves, the bordering. Easily one of the best pieces we've ever made.

#2 - 2/8/21 'Miku Devours Her Progeny'

This is it. Perhaps the one you expected at No. 1? It has been our favorite for a very long time, and the one we pointed to as such for a while after all. Even after making the piece that now resides at the top slot.

There's just something so absurd about Miku as Saturn, yet something that works to it. She is, after all, the first Vocaloid, and remains the most outwardly popular. A position that naturally calls for the cannibalization of her progeny. Perhaps it's the way it captures the madness and zero sum nature of making art?

No matter how long we look at it, no matter the new flaws we spot in it's construction, it's a piece that as we gaze upon it we only love more.

#1 - 5/22/23 'Trail Cam Footage'

This is a piece that's truly difficult to speak on. Iirc, we had found ourselves short on time, so elected to try a rougher, more impressionist style. Something we could make quickly, as to not miss a Monday and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Taking further inspiration from trail cams and horror, we decided a greyscale would help further eliminate work. No pesky color picking to complicate rendering.

This as made in a single post-work sitting as a result. It has since become our favorite.

It so perfectly captures the feeling of seeing something spooky on a low res camera feed. Just enough details to let your mind fill in the blanks. The short field of view making it all the more intimate. The oppressive darkness all around. This is the only piece we've loved enough to share to other sites we don't post to. Its both our blog background, and our PC wallpaper!

We've often considered revisiting this style, but are afraid we'd never be able to live up to this. Honestly, it feels like it would be redundant. This one piece is already the peak. Not to mention, there's no way to live up to the fact that just days later, actual trail cam footage of two naked witches eating a deer emerged.

Which Miku is your favorite? Did we miss one you love? Let us know!

[bring-forth-his-sac]

pls more dad negan (including reader like in your drabble) 😭🙏 that drabble was so cute!!! <3

summary: Negan wakes up with the two people he loves most

word count: 1.3k

“Negan? Negan, are you awake?”.

Negan knows it’s a good morning when your voice is the first thing he hears. Another day in this apocalyptic paradise— which is something he doesn’t say lightly.

Despite the skulls he’s had to crack, the years he spent behind bars and the losses he’s had, Negan would do it all over again if it meant meeting you… and the other special lady in his life. Speaking of which, he’s starting to wonder why he didn’t wake up to her usual wailing.

He grunts slightly as he opens his eyes.  The warmth of the bed feels just right for the cold day. 

“Morning darlin,” Negan greets you with a sleepy grin “we finally getting some mama and daddy time?”.

You smile, swiping a stray strand of hair off his forehead. “I wish but…” you sigh tiredly “look down”.

With wary eyes, Negan tilts his head down and finds his little heat source cuddled in between you both, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“Hm, was wondering why the bed was so warm” he says, bringing a finger down to trace her small face.

You let out a laugh as you get comfy beside your husband. “She woke me but it’s too early to start the day” you mumble against your pillow.

“So she’s been promoted to our bed now, huh?” Negan raises an eyebrow, his eyes still on the little terror. Suddenly a small hand comes up, fingers clenching and unclenching.

Giving into her (like always), Negan lifts your daughter up so she’s resting in the centre of his chest. It’s only in times like this do you notice how much she’s grown in the past few months, still so small but full of so much personality. 

“You tryin’ to steal all the attention I should be giving mama?” he asks her “is that your masterplan?”.

Stifling a yawn, you shift onto your side as you shuffle down the bed and tug the blanket up to your shoulders. “Just like her father, she loves the attention” you tease.

“But I think she’s got your stubbornness,” he says softly, a slight chuckle escaping his lips.

Negan settles back into the pillow, cradling the baby against his chest. His hand gently brushes her wisps of hair.

Give it another month or two and she’ll have hair long enough to tie up and style properly. You can already imagine Negan trying to style her: tying her hair up into a tuft full of bows and glittery hair bands. After all, it’s only the best for his little girl.

“You ever think we’d be here? Doing this?” he murmurs, pulling you out of your daydreams “I mean, hell, I’ve been through some shit, but this… this is different”.

You smile, watching him with an affectionate gaze “It’s everything, isn’t it?”.

The baby babbles as if to agree. Her legs kick out slightly before she relaxes again. Despite being up since 4am, she’s still not tired and opts to listen in to your conversation instead of resting her eyes like you hoped.

Negan rubs her back soothingly, watching as your baby tries to cram her fist into her mouth. Trying to carefully corral her hand away from getting gnawed, Negan mutters “Now, if we can just get her to sleep through the night, I’ll be even happier”.

You smile sleepily, still trying to shake off the fog of an early wake-up. 

“She definitely has you wrapped around her finger,” you comment, watching as she loses interest in trying to get her fist into her mouth and tries to tug on one of Negan’s fingers instead. “Literally” you add.

He grins down at the baby, making a funny noise that gets her to coo in response. You snicker “Oh yeah, she’s definitely got you figured out, Mr. Tough Guy”.

Negan looks at you with exaggerated offense, feigning a dramatic gasp. Clearly entertained, the baby gurgles and babbles as Negan continues his one-man show.

“What? Me? Tough guy? I’m a loving father, damn it! I’m a doting… badass… fucking machine daddy. And nothing more!” He kisses the top of the baby’s head with an exaggerated ‘mwah!’ sound. 

Negan looks over at you with a wink but before he can notice how your eyes are growing heavier, the baby coos for his attention again. 

“But this little princess on the other hand?,” he talks in an exaggerated manner “Oh she’s gonna be trouble!”.

You let out a small, sleepy laugh but it’s quickly swallowed up by a yawn. “Yeah, well, she already thinks she’s the boss” You shift a little, getting more comfortable.

Negan chuckles, looking down at the baby like she’s his new best friend. It’s uncanny how much your little baby girl can look so similar to your husband— and yet if you say that out loud, Negan will insist she looks more like you.

Negan raises her tiny fist as if she’s about to start swinging. “Damn right she’s the boss!” He exclaims “Just wait until I teach her the good shit. Killing walkers, turning on the charm— oof!”.

He stops when you poke his side under the blanket. With a lazy smile you mumble “Maybe wait until the baby can walk first before teaching her to kill walkers”.

Your eyelids feel like they’re made of lead and the bed is so warm and comfortable, it feels impossible not to close them just for a while. You snuggle deeper into the blankets, your body practically melting into the mattress. 

“Alright, alright, mama has a point” Negan concedes before getting back to playtime with his mini-me.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t start teaching ya how to work that charm. First lesson: how to look cute and get everything you want” Negan says as if she can understand every word.

The baby blinks, her mouth open as she listens closely. Negan laughs softly, completely amused “Already a pro”.

“Actually and while we’re at it,” Negan continues “I’m gonna have to teach you how to change your own diapers, you’re like a goddamn fire hose attached to a sewerage plant!”.

As he rambles on, he notices how quiet you’ve become. The soft rise and fall of your chest, the way your head is slumped against the pillow, all hint that you're completely out of it. 

And to confirm his theory, you let out a small snort in your sleep. 

Negan pauses, a small smirk forming in his face. “Huh, guess that’s our queue to leave, kiddo” he whispers.

Trying his best to move slowly, Negan pulls back the covers just enough for him to get out. Manoeuvring out of the bed, Negan keeps your little offspring close to his chest. The baby gurgles, as if threatening to cry if Mama doesn't get out of bed too. For once, Negan shoots a glare at the baby, holding onto the look for a few seconds no matter how guilty it makes him feel. 

“Shhhhhh hun, let your mama sleep” he tells her, watching to make sure you don’t stir. Negan knows how hard you work. Despite how much he helps out, Negan can’t feed the baby off his man boob, nor can he lull the baby back to sleep with the same success as you. 

Without you, he knows he wouldn’t be in this situation. He would've never found a woman willing to spawn out his demonic kids and look hot as all hell while doing it!

You’ve always been his exception. You gave him hope. Not just in this world, but in himself. “C’mon you little pipsqueak you’re stuck with me for a while” Negan whispers, giving you one last look before walking out and carefully shutting the door behind him.

If there’s anyone who needs some peace and quiet, it’s you and Negan has no problem helping out with that.

[fluemsiie]

our family [ j. ackles ]

synopsis. you need jensen to come back home. notes. 1.3k words, breastfeeding, depression, mentions of ppd, not proof read, happy birthday jensen <3 — comments & rbs appreciated.

jensen’s been filming for a while, and by a while, you mean for freakin’ months. he can’t catch a break and so you did what any sane person does— you moved to vancouver all the way from texas just to be close to him. it took a lot of planning, and way too much money, but you weren’t letting your husband stay at a different country alone anymore, it was taking a toll on both your mental health and your relationship.

not to mention your daughter always asking for daddy, where he is, can she go out with him; it’s breaking your heart as much as it is his and so you decided to settle for a smaller apartment near where they were filming.

you’d say it helped your mental health but that would be a lie. ever since you had your daughter you knew something had been seriously wrong. you’re unmotivated to move out of bed, you try to do everything you need to in your room, hardly go out to see anyone but her. anything you need to go do, you have delivered. if the whole ‘not moving’ thing wasn’t hurting you, then the fact that you let your body go a little is fucking breaking you.

you don’t think anything has ever been so wrong in your life, nothing goes the way it should and it seems like you can’t fix it no matter what you do which is disappointing considering you’re a mother now. a mother. you’re supposed to know everything and have all the answers.

and despite moving to be closer to him, leaving behind your own family, something not a lot of people would do, he still spends some nights at jared’s (because gen is still in texas, like you should be).

except there’s also another thing jensen has no idea about; you got diagnosed with depression shortly before you made the move, it’s a big reason why you did the move in the first place. you thought it was past partum but you made sure to actually get diagnosed before telling jen and since you won’t be harming yourself or your baby girl, you decided he didn’t need to know.

he’s been so busy since he decided to start directing too and you’re insanely proud of him, even if you’re having a hard time. but you don’t wanna risk it so here you are, alone in a city you’ve visited only a handful of times with your two year old daughter.

but today’s by far one of your worst days. you tried taking some pills, just pain killers, you aren’t comfortable taking pills for whatever’s wrong with you, you can’t risk hurting any future babies. it isn’t like you don’t believe in them— you’re a nurse, of course you do, but you also know they could hurt you long term, it’s not worth it.

some days it seems like it’s just not worth it. you pick up your phone to call jensen. it takes a few rings but then he responds and you sigh in relief. you honestly thought he wouldn’t pick up, “hey.”

“what’s wrong? are you okay?” it catches you by surprise but when you recover you tell him you and rhyme are great. “i mean you, sweetheart. you sound off.”

you don’t sound that off. definitely not enough for him to pick it up the second you greet him. not that you’re complaining, maybe if he knows what’s wrong he’ll get home faster. jensen’s always helped you in ways he wouldn’t even believe— he’s your life force at times and you’re not sure what you’d do without him, especially now when you need him.

and he’s not neglectful, he took your first four months off from filming and had his sister stay with you for the other two. he’s always put your needs in front of filming but you don’t want to be overbearing.

“when are you getting home? i’m making your favorite.”

“yeah? ‘m not too sure. twelve-thirty, give or take.” which is code for ‘don’t wait up’ so you wake up and find out he never made it home, just crashed on set or at jay’s

“okay.” you can’t bring yourself to ask him to come home even if you don’t doubt he will. jen’s working because he loves his job, sure, but it’s also to provide for you, he wouldn’t want to hurt you over something he’s doing for you in the first place. and you know all that, you just wish you’d always be logical enough to remember it. 

“is that it?” god, this is conflicting. you know you need him right now, you just can’t get the words out. “sweetheart?”

“yeah.” 

It’s a beat before he responds. “i’m coming home at twelve with dinner. don’t cook anything.” he ends the call and you’re smiling. it’s no surprise he figured you needed him, but you couldn’t be happier to have someone that cares enough to come when you call, despite your call being ominous and downright needy.

+

it’s the third time you’ve started frozen because rhyme doesn’t understand that when a movie ends you start a new one, all while breastfeeding her. it’s gotten significantly easier as she nears two years old, she just sits next to you instead of you having to kill your back, and she honestly does it for ten minutes maximum before she gets bored.

and at this point she’s tried everything from lamb to mashed fruit, milk is hardly a full meal to her. but your doctor said it’s best to try and breastfeed her until she hits the 22 month mark. she’s nearing 20 months now.

when she’s done, and else is singing ‘let it go’ with rhyme as her background vocalist, you get up to get started on dinner. jensen said to not make anything which means he’s ordering take out himself but you should probably make sure the counter is clean and that there’s a salad to go with the food.

just as you’re done cleaning the table, the front door opens and your shoulder fall in relief. you didn’t even know you were raising them. you hear his footsteps all the way to the living room, where rhyme runs into her dads arms and lifts her up effortlessly. 

he turns to you, sees you standing in your open kitchen and walks over to kiss your hair softly. “hey, baby girl.” 

rhyme laughs and hugs him tighter. well, the endearment is yours as much as it is hers, you’re both his girls. 

“thanks for coming home, jen.”

“don’t do that, don’t thank me for that. i should’ve known it bothered you— and you should’ve told me earlier.”

“it doesn’t always! just when i need you and then i wake up and i just don’t find you.” days where the depression is just, god, it’s horrible. days when you can’t take rhyme crying because you can’t find the toy she lost or when she’s hungry and you’ve only slept two hours, waiting for his text to confirm he’s safe and at home. 

“baby, i can’t always read your mind, sometimes you gotta help me out.” you nod quickly and he kisses his daughter before putting her down. 

“foor?” food. he nods, placing the bag onto the table. you’ve been teaching her german so she confuses d’s for r’s. you’re not too sure how that came to be but you don’t question it because she’s been saying words in german.

the smell hits you all at once, and your heart practically squeezes itself. jensen drove to your favourite restaurant thirty minutes away. it makes your home country’s food the most authentically and you’ve always loved feeling at home. 

“jensen, seriously?” he smiles and you’re the one who throws yourself into his arms this time, his little girl, not quite understanding, joins in. and you’re not sure how you would’ve gotten through today without him coming back home to his girls.

[twog-team]

where shall we go? - mellowcle

gift to twottie, from frog 🐸

shhhh shhhh, quietttt. this'll be twottie's first time seeing their birthday present :D

[kimtaegis]

JIN HUGS JIN HUGS! for @jinstronaut ♡

cr. namuspromised, dwellingsouls, 0613data

[k2ulhu]

hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with

[rpfofficial]

character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

[megumi-fm]

hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.

[inkybinkyboink]

oh fellas it's essay writing time you know what that means

[hexcitrine]

randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy

[skitskatdacat63]

There's this nearly 4 hour movie I've been meaning to watch for a while and I was like "ah maybe ill watch it tonight hehe 🥰" and then I remember...quali is at 9 🫠

[canine-teethed-sheets]

WOHOOOOO 300 FOLLOWERS GUYS!!!!!!! THANKS FOR DROPPING BY THIS PILE OF PAPERS LMAO

[yellowjacketsource]

dont worry gang i have secured my preorder of the ben funko

[dahldahlbills]

nano day 2 & 3 update

day 2

Total Word count: 1689; 1421 towards a fic, and 268 towards my main wip

Did a lot of handwriting so I wasn’t able to see exactly how much I wrote until I typed it up today (hence the late update)

day 3

Total Word count: 1603; 901 towards a fic, and 702 towards my main wip

I did two sprints towards my main wip and got ~350 words for both 20min sprints, im kinda proud of that ngl

I’m making steady progress and for the most part on track for that 50k which is kinda neat! (still not what I’m going for tho so i can’t let it get to my head lol)

but overall I’m feeling really good so far I’m excited to see what I accomplish tomorrow :D

[cathymee]

ok. i guess